


Speak Now (Or Forever Hold Your Peace)

by enigmaticblue



Series: Sun 'Verse [34]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, M/M, Post-Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 18:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13129110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticblue/pseuds/enigmaticblue
Summary: Mary wants nothing more than to be able to say her vows.





	Speak Now (Or Forever Hold Your Peace)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the hc_bingo prompt “loss of voice/forced silence”

Mary’s hands stuttered with nerves, not quite sketching out the words she wanted to say. Ben’s arm slipped around her shoulders as he pulled her into a comforting hug. “We’re thinking the second Saturday in May.”

 

Maryanne nodded. “That should give us plenty of time to make the dress and get a start on the hope chest. Are you two planning on moving out right away?”

 

“No,” Mary signed quickly. “Not yet.”

 

The idea of being out on her own, even with Ben, made Mary a little nervous. She _liked_ being surrounded by family, having Dean and Cas nearby, and helping out with the little kids and the chores around the house.

 

She wanted to get married, but the next phase—including maybe having kids of their own—scared her.

 

“Well, I’m sure your dads will be glad to have you around a little longer,” Maryanne said, her tone reassuring.

 

Ben nodded. “We have a piece of land picked out for the house. Dad said it would be a good learning experience, building a little place and getting everything figured out.”

 

“Were you planning on a traditional ceremony, or maybe saying your own vows?” Maryanne asked.

 

Mary stiffened. In all the planning they’d done already, in the decision to get married, she hadn’t thought about what it would mean that she couldn’t actually _speak_ her vows. She felt suddenly self-conscious, knowing that everybody will be staring at her, and most people won’t know what she was saying.

 

Ben glanced at her, concerned, and Mary shook her head. She didn’t want to talk about it right now. “Traditional,” she signed, because it seemed easiest.

 

Mary was good with her hands, but she had never been especially good at communicating, even if sign language had opened up her world.

 

“Traditional is lovely,” Maryanne replied, and she gave Mary a look that said she knew Mary was upset and was trying not to show it.

 

Mary took a deep breath, trying to force down her roiling emotions. Getting married was a happy thing, and she should be happy. “Can we have a chocolate cake?”

 

“We can have any kind of cake you want,” Ben insisted. “It’s our day, and you know I like chocolate.”

 

Mary smiled, knowing her expression was a little shaky, but unable to do anything about it.

 

They finalized a few other details and then headed home, Mary’s arms wrapped around Ben’s waist. “Do you want any help with dinner?” Ben asked.

 

Mary remembered that she was supposed to cook that night, and she shook her head. She needed privacy right now more than anything else.

 

“Okay, well, let me know if you need anything,” Ben replied as he went to park the bike in the barn.

 

Mary went into the kitchen and stared into the fridge, trying to figure out what to make. There was ham and sausages in there, and either would be good, maybe with some of the last vegetables in the garden.

 

But once out in the garden, her tears began to fall hot and heavy, and she just couldn’t face anybody.

 

She just didn’t understand why she was so stupid as to not even be able to say a few words.

 

~~~~~

 

Cas stumbled across Mary in the garden, a little surprised to find her there. It was nearing dinnertime, and he and Dean both had business in town that day, which typically meant Mary cooked. They’d talked about it yesterday, and she’d agreed to make dinner.

 

Plus, the garden was winding down for the year, so there was no weeding to be done, and harvesting was one of Cal’s chores.

 

Then Cas heard her sniffling, which was about the only sound Mary made, and he started moving. “Mary? Are you okay?”

 

She made a shooing motion, rather than replying.

 

“Is it Ben?” Cas asked. “Did he upset you?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“I can’t help if you won’t talk to me,” Cas cajoled. Normally, she was a little easier to coax than this.

 

“I can’t _talk_ ,” Mary signed emphatically, the gestures large, the sign equivalent of shouting. “That’s the problem!”

 

Cas took a deep breath. “Please, Mary. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

 

Mary flicked a hand, and Cas nodded. “All right. I’m going to start dinner. If you want to help, you know where to find me.”

 

Mary didn’t appear, however, and when Ben turned up to help set the table, Cas asked, “Did you and Mary have a fight?”

 

Ben frowned. “No, just the opposite. We sat down today and figured out the date for the wedding.”

 

“What date did you set?” Cas asked.

 

“Next spring,” Ben replied. “We were thinking the second Saturday in May, here at the house. We thought that would give her and Miss Maryanne enough time to make the dress and other stuff. We’d stay here at the house for the time being.”

 

Cas saw nothing wrong with that plan, and no reason for Mary to be upset, but he said nothing other than, “That sounds like a good plan. You’ll have to let Dean know.”

 

“Where’s Mary?” Ben asked. “I thought she was cooking tonight.”

 

“She was,” Cas replied. “I think she’s feeling a little under the weather.

 

Ben frowned. “I should go check on her.”

 

“No, let’s give her some space,” Cas replied. “She wasn’t interested in talking to me, and I don’t want to push her before she’s ready.”

 

He didn’t say that Mary didn’t respond well to being pushed, but Ben nodded. They were both aware of Mary’s quirks.

 

Dean gave Cas a look when Mary didn’t turn up for dinner, but Cas shook his head, and Dean didn’t press the issue. The other kids appeared curious, but also kept their peace. When dinner was over, Henry and Casey began cleaning up without being asked, and Cas put together a plate for Mary.

 

“I should take it,” Ben said.

 

“Give me fifteen minutes, and then follow,” Cas countered. “If she won’t talk to me, then you can try.”

 

Cas had always had a close relationship with Mary ever since she’d come to stay with them, and he suspected that her upset had something to do with Ben, even if he hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings.

 

Dinner had been ham, potatoes, and the last of the green beans from the garden, and Can took a plate over to the loft, knocking on Mary’s door.

 

When he didn’t get a response, Cas tried the doorknob, which turned easily under his hand. “Mary? I brought you a plate.”

 

“Not hungry,” she signed.

 

“Mary, we’re all worried about you,” Cas replied. “What’s going on?”

 

“Vows,” she signed. “I can’t say them!”

 

Cas finally put two and two together. What she said, what Ben said, and Cas sighed. “He doesn’t mind.”

 

“I want to say my vows and I can’t!” Mary replied, opening her mouth for effect, and no sound came out. “I want to say what I feel.”

 

“Ben has never known you when you could speak,” Cas pointed out. “He won’t hold it against you.”

 

“I’m weak,” Mary signed. “I can’t even say how much I love him.”

 

“I don’t need you to say it,” Ben said from the doorway. “I love you, Mary. I’ve loved you for my whole life, and you tell me you love me every day. Someone will translate, if that’s important to you, but I’ll know what you say, and that’s all that matters.”

 

Cas left the room, leaving Ben and Mary alone, but when he glanced over his shoulder, Ben had his arm around Mary and was whispering to her softly while she cried.

 

There were times when Cas had wondered if they should have pushed her harder. But looking back, Cas really didn’t think they could have made a different call.

 

They all had to live with the scars and burdens of their experiences.

 

Dean met him at the door. “Is she okay?”

 

Cas sighed. “She was upset because she wouldn’t be able to say her vows out loud.”

 

“Ah, hell,” Dean muttered. “You know, she adjusted to the whole signing thing so well, I never even thought about it. I should have.”

 

Cas shrugged. “What could we have done? We all bear our own burdens, Dean.”

 

“I guess we do,” Dean murmured. “Is Ben with her?”

 

Cas nodded. “He’s be the best one to comfort her in this, and it’s his role now.”

 

He and Dean would need to find a way to let go, and that would be hard as well. Both Ben and Mary were their kids, but they would belong to each other in the future. It wouldn’t be wise to interfere.

 

Dean pulled him in close, easy affection in the gesture, and Cas soaked up his strength.

 

Together, Cas thought, they could face anything.


End file.
